Brian's Stool Sample

Today, we are writing our last post. This is a sad day. Tomorrow is our last day in the office.

Travis leaves for school Sunday, and Clare leaves next Thursday. Clare just returned from Cape Cod with her family, and has a new found, obnoxious obsession with Jersey Shore. It's a problem.

On an exciting note - Clare is 20! Travis is only 19 :( What a baby.

In lieu of our leaving we have searched and searched for the final item that is weird enough to write about.

Brian's Stool Sample. Is that gross enough for you? It is for us. However, this stool sample is quite different than what you might think. It's much more like a bar stool sample. Confused? Us too. We don't understand the purpose of it, but we guess it's kinda funny. In a weird, sick kind of way. The only way Brian knows how to be funny. Weird.



It's been a great summer! We can't believe it's coming to an end. We'll miss you all! Come visit us and keep in touch.

Have fun in school, and get good grades! HHAHAHAH

Travis and Clare

BYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Travis's Birthday

Hello all!!

Let it be known that Travis has finally turned..... (drumroll please) 19!!!! Wow such a great age. July 26 SHOULD be a National Holiday to celebrate but I guess I can make it that way when I become president. So this week's blog is going to be about the interesting things that occurred on my birthday. The main focus: Birthday dinner with mom, dad, and grandmother.

Timing: 6 p.m. on Monday night
Place: Koto, a delicious sushi place located at Campbell Road and Central Expressway in Richardson
Waitress: one crazy lady

So here's how it all went down:
We sat down, received our drinks and began to look over the menu. Our waitress came by to tell us about some of the specials the chef was making that night. The first one was called the "pocket". I don't really know what was in it but we ordered it. The second special was a roll called "The Lion King". No idea what was in it but we got it too.

Our first plate came out and this was the "pocket", as our waitress brought it out to our table she proceeded to say "HOT POCKET" but in the pitch and longevity that they say it in the commercials for "Hot Pockets" on TV. This was sort of funny but sort of weird at the same time.

Now here comes the funniest part: When our waitress (I named her crazy lady) brought "The Lion King" out she proceeded to sing the beginning of the song we all know, "AWWWW SE BENNYAH BABA KEETSY BABA"
This is my reaction in my head "UMM WHAT?!?!?! YOU ARE SO CRAZY!" Now of course at this time when my mother catches on to what is happening, JOINS IN!!!! I was so embarrassed i just slumped down, shook my head, and held my hands over my face.

This was possibly the most entertaining dinner I've ever had with my parents and grandmother. I loved it.

Here's just a little something I know everyone loves to watch and hear:

Alone in Dallas

So this is my week for loneliness. Almost everyone is on the amazing mission trip to England while I'm stuck here in the nice, cool weather of Dallas, Texas. I got back Sunday afternoon from amazing Norman, Oklahoma and Camp Crimson (OU's freshman orientation camp, I was a counselor) just in time to send our England go-ers off from DFW airport. It was pretty sad to not be going through security with them. :(

This week I'm not up to TOO much just have to work on some odds and ends for the High School Group. Purdy boring. Oh well I think I'll survive......maybe.

Here's just a funny picture for you to look at



What a sneaky little cat.
Have a fun rest of the summer and be safe.

Sarah vs. Travis

This week the blog is called sarahandclare.blogspot.com.

Travis has ventured all the way to Oklahoma this week for who knows what reason, and Sarah Beecherl has taken his place. It's amazing how much she and I have accomplished in Travis' absence. Productivity is a rare thing around this office, quite scarce most of the time. But this week we have gotten a lot done...maybe it's because Scottie wasn't here today. There could be so many reasons.

Another contribution of Sarah's: amazing artistic skillzzz. Just a little preview...



Has Travis contributed any drawings? No...but he has given us many photos to laugh about:



This has been a good day. A productive day. Interesting...


ENGLAND IN 5 DAYS!!! GET PUMPED!!!

The Joys of JibJab

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Do you like our dance moves? Yeah, we thought so. Little did you know Clare and Travis competed in the Dallas Disco Derby last weekend. We placed honorable mention due to our amazing outfits and slick dance moves. What a great team. Our mothers are so proud. Clare sleeps with her ribbon every night, it brings joy to her heart. It is the biggest honor she has received in her life....well, only honor actually. Travis however, doesn't even have room for his ribbon on the Travis shrine his mother has created. The final spot was a battle between the Dallas Disco Derby ribbon and Lawn Mower Racing ribbon he won at the young age of 12. Don't judge. He is a very talented boy.

We hope you haven't fallen in the trap of thinking that those aren't our bodies groovin' to the beat. Shame on you if you have. We all know that Travis is a 6 foot 2, tan, athletically built man with astounding disco moves. Clare is always rockin' the gold sequin belts and long hippie dresses.

Okay, never mind. We admit it: we're fakes. Neither of us can dance disco like those two faceless chumps. Clare actually does dance a little. Swing dancing is her forte. Seriously. Travis on the other hand, takes an interesting approach to his spare time. Interpretive dance is one of his passions. Ribbons, tights, you name it. He's got it all.

jibjab.com, ever heard of it? Well, neither had Clare until Travis decided to share the joys of this wonderful website. The only problem with jibjab is that there is a price to pay for the E-cards. How unfortunate. There are certain videos you can do and share for free. AWESOME. If you ever want to make someone smile or freak someone out, jibjab.com is the site for you. We encourage you to send some videos our way via facebook. Not like we have anything better to do. Good luck, and dance your heart away.

KOKOPOLO

Balderdash. Have you ever played? We hadn't either. Still haven't actually. Confused? Allow me to explain.

Balderdash, "The Classic Bluffing Game," is a game we played yesterday in the office. When we say played, we mean we made up our own rules. Same thing, right?

Basically, in Balderdash, you are supposed to make up funny stories, and make others think it's true. On a Balderdash card, there are 5 words or phrases. The first is a word that you are to make up a definition for, the second is a person you are to make up what they are "famous for," the third is an acronym you are to make up what it stands for, the fourth is a movie title that you are supposed to make up a plot for, and the fifth is a funny law that you are to fill in the blank.

We played. Card after card was drawn. Funny phrase, after funny name, after funny law. Laughter ensued. And then Kate McDowell drew the most epic card in the stack. Each category on this card is fantastic. I will go backwards.

law: In Alaska, no child may build..."A snowman that is taller than him or her."
Poor short Alaskan children. They have so much snow, yet their height hinders them from building a true, giant snowman.

movie: It Grow on Trees..."A happily married couple discovers that $10 bills are growing on trees in their backyard."
I'm going to Blockbuster today to find this ingenious film.

acronym: I.C.C.S...."International Cork Cutters' Society.
Travis is joining tomorrow.

person: Antoine Feuchtwanger..."He introduced the frankfurter wiener to America."
Thank you, man with impossible name to pronounce. You are our hero.

And then "Kokopolo" happened. What do you think it means? We would like to share with you what we each came up with.

Clare: means "GOOOOOALL" in a rare African language. (Imagine this- An African team shoots, they score, "KOKOPOLOOOOOOO")

Travis: a game played in a swimming pool by children in Nigeria where one player calls out "Koko" with his eyes closed and other players respond "Polo." (Imagine Marco Polo, but in African accents. And the word Koko is so much better than Marco.)

Greg: A tropical sport first played by shark wrestlers in which a ball is passed between players and thrown into a goal whilst riding sharks.

Greg won. But each definition was given special recognition.

Actual definition: "Fabled dragonfly who lured young girls by giving them moccasins."
WHAT?!!!? Creepiest bug ever.

That's all for today. We encourage you to watch the World Cup and yell KOKOPOLOOOO at each goal, and to play Koko-Polo whilst swimming in this warm, Texas heat. Oh, and if you like playing with sharks, uhh go for it. But we're not responsible for injuries.

lonelyyyyy

I'm so lonelyy

I've nobodyyy

for my own.

Today, the office is empty. Brian and Travis have trekked to Colorado with the little ones, so I am here all by my lonesome.

I would make fun of something in Brian's office, but it feels wrong without Travis, my partner-in-crime.

Remember these things:

1) Always wear your seatbelt.

2) Read book for England.

3) Brian thinks it's fashionable to have undershirt sleeves that are longer than his shirt.
Let him continue thinking this. It's more fun.

4) Memorize scripture for England.

5) The largest number of children born to one woman is recorded at 69. From 1725-1765, a Russian peasant woman gave birth to 16 sets of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. Ouch.

Travis and Clare, married mechanics?

Today, we had an interesting hour and a half long lunch break. We ventured to West Village in hopes of stumbling upon a delicious mystery restaurant as we have started running out of ideas for places to eat. Our quest was immediately delayed by a young gent in need of assistance. The smarty-pants left his lights on for the night and asked us, of all people, for help. Clare was skeptical at first, but Travis immediately volunteered Clare's car to do the job. So, we unparked and pushed the cars noses together, attached the cables, and started the engine. Nothing. Started the engine again. Nothing. Started the engine yet again, revved engine. Nothing. We failed at politely assisting a young chap in need. Good dead of the day, FAIL. Also, someone took Clare's parking spot. Anger.

We resumed our quest for the hidden restaurant, but decided that there was nothing to our liking. Returning to the car, we came across a young custodian. Whilst walking past him he boldly asked if we were married. What?? Um...no. He then inquired if either of us, individually, were married. Um...no. Interesting...

We finally settled on a nice pizza place about 30 seconds from the church. Brian was sitting inside.

That's all for today. What have we learned? Travis and Clare look like the best candidates to ask for help if your car is broken down. Also, we're married. What?

Dubble Bubble, lots of Trubble

For the past few weeks we've noticed that there is a slight obsession in this office with "Dubble Bubble" Bubble Gum. Every time Scott comes in he goes straight for the bucket. This bucket originally held 380 pieces of gum but today, it holds 3. Where did it all go?

Although this gum only holds flavor for about 2.3684 seconds (scientifically proven) it is quite addicting. We ourselves have fallen victim to its bubblicious power. Once it hits your lips there is no turning back. You reach for piece after piece as the flavor enriches your mouth over and over again.

We are however confused by the name of the gum. First of all, why do they feel the need to misspell Double? It still rhymes either way you spell it. Second, wouldn't you think with a name like Dubble Bubble you could blow massive bubbles? Clare has it down, Travis on the other hand struggles. He just can't do it. If anyone is giving bubble gum blowing lessons, please contact Travis as soon as possible. We are worried.

That's all for today. We encourage you to try some Dubble Bubble for yourself. It's almost worth it.

Brian's baseball Hall of Fame

Today, while searching Brian's office we stumbled upon his "1996 NBC Fantasy Baseball Champion" signed baseball. Yes, Brian is that very champion. He didn't have the skills to be a "real" baseball player, like our very own Travis Upham, high school baseball extraordinaire. Instead he followed his inner nerd and played fantasy baseball. We're so proud to be in the presence of a legend. This baseball we speak of is the baseball in the protective covering next to the singing rodent in the video.

We're unsure as to what species the rodent is, but we do know that he is the "DH," a phrase that has been clarified by the famous Travis Upham to mean "Designated Hitter." Why he wears a glove for this appointed position, we have not quite figured out, but we do know that his voice is equal to voice of angels. We could not be more kidding. It is the single-most annoying sound we've ever heard, especially since we listened to it far too many times because Clare kept messing up the video. It may look like a simple task, but we beg to differ.

Now we've decided to name this rodent, who we're going to guess is possibly a gerbil, a hamster, a mouse? Who knows. We dub him Dwight Harvilchuck in lieu of his initials. So check out the vid and see if you agree that this is the most annoying thing ever made. Why people even buy these singing rodents is a mystery to us. Cover your ears....seriously.

That's all for this boring Monday at the office. Peace.

"Big Boy"

Today we looked around Brian's office and let's just say there are a few interesting things to write about. Today we encountered the BIG BOY piggy bank.

Big Boy
Height - 6 inches (with a good hair day)
Weight - 4 pounds (depending on amount of change)
Occupation - unknown. We suspect he is:
1) a waiter at Big Boy Burgers
2) a model for The Overall Emporium
3) an "Elvis" impersonator for Big Boy Records.
We're hoping number 2. There hasn't been a good overall model for quite some time. Everyone knows that a good pair of overalls is a man's best friend.

Take "Farmer Hick Ben" for example. That is one happy man in one nice looking pair of overalls.

We took a vote around the office and Big Boy won the modeling competition by a landslide. That's one handsome man.

That's all for today. We encourage you to go out and buy your own pair of overalls, but remember an undershirt always helps.